Tonight my dog's black dog has led him off somewhere and he is nowhere to be found :(  He is a bit confused at the moment ( a bit like me...) .  We are hoping he turns up tomorrow or someone kind finds him and rings me.  It has happened before but I think one day he won't be coming back.  He's a beautiful quiet loving sweet dog and we want him to get better and we want him to COME HOME.

I finally finished cleaning the pool (actually...my kind husband did while I was doing child duty at little athletics).   It made me think a LOT about the relationship between procrastination and depression.  I'm sure I use my depression as an excuse sometimes to avoid doing the hard things.  I'm sure I don't WANT to be depressed but I have realised that it IS an 'easy' excuse for me and a place to 'hide out'. It ends up becoming a cycle, a Catch 22 (great book), self-fulfilling prophecy of gloom and doom and starting to break that cycle is just a matter of DOING IT.  Two sessions about this with Louise have stuck in my mind (although I haven't done much about them..yet...).  It felt important at the time, but I think I was basically having a whinge about the small things I 'couldn't do'  and was made to realise that at the end of the day, at some stage, I JUST HAVE TO DO THEM.  The other session was about the addiction to what I call my "darth" side - how I escape there to hide out without even realising I'm doing it.  To change myself is BLOODY HARD WORK.....this week I am going to concentrate on JUST DOING IT and I've found some great quotes to give me a boost.