Thought I might have a go at an ordinary everyday diary blog.  My track record with keeping a diary is woeful.  I was told the other day (by a fellow cyberspace depression sufferer - heaven forbid that I should talk to anyone in the 'real world' about it...)  how great it was to be able to look back and see how far you've come/changed etc.   I don't have anything to look back on because when I'm going through a low patch (swampy quicksand Gollum sort of stuff) what I do is to DESTROY everything.  I burn or tear up anything I've written - including all the great advice from Louise.  The worse I feel, the more I will destroy until there's nothing relating to that ME left.  Don't know quite why I do that ..... does anyone else do that ???

So .... I'll try this for a change.  Don't think I'll be burning my computer (although the idea of throwing it through the window does appeal to me every now and then ....).   Sounds crazy I know but I'm thinking it's easier for me to put my thoughts up here than to keep them in a private diary in a drawer somewhere for me only.  It's that ME thing that always lets me down.   I'm sure I will be in the running for a prize for the most boring blog ever but that's OK if I get something for myself out it along the way. 

Today has begun OK for me - obviously or I wouldn't be here - I would be busy tearing and burning things up - although there's not much left now - just a few drawings - (gee I'm glad I left those folders with you Louise or they would have gone up in smoke...).  now I have to keep the momentum going....my first challenge for the day is to CUT DOWN ON THE COFFEE INTAKE - (she says as she finishes her second for the day and sniffs longingly at the new premium beans bought at a specialty shop while in Brisbane)  OK - 600mls of water before evey coffee (I'll be so bloated I won't be able to move!).  My second challenge is to start cleaning the pool - it hasn't been cleaned all winter and I wouldn't be surprised to see a couple of bunyips crawling out in the middle of the night.  It's not a pretty sight. That'll do for today - start small and be courageous.